So hey...

My Uncle definitely started a new company, it's the best most advanced way to get a spray in bedliner. I've seen it first hand and it is awesome... if you want to check it out click below to see their website.

WOULD BE A GREAT CHRISTMAS PRESENT FOR THE MAN IN YOUR LIFE :)

Comes in any color, and it also has a lifetime guarantee!

http://hkwcoatings.com/tulsa-bed-liners/

Facebook

http://www.facebook.com/VortexByHKW?ref=ts

very unusual behavior going on...

I am on an organization/clean, get-on-the-ball, to do list.... war path.

1. I cleaned my shower while I was in it.
2. I definitely skipped my nap to separate, put away, and hang up my laundry.
3. I have 6 mini news assignments due before the 2nd, I have done 3 just sitting at work.
4. I'm actually writing a blog post that I have been wanting to do for awhile :)

I know I have crap to do right now and I am getting it done.

GO ME!

how on the ball I am...

School?

I have a list I made weeks ago of all the things I need to get done before the end of the year. It currently has 14 things marked off, and 15 things left. I'm enjoying marking the tasks off. It's also helping me work ahead. Tuesday I will be able to mark off 5 things. I have two different 8 page papers due this week and was actually doing parts of them on the plane to Seattle!

Christmas?

Yeah I got everyone's gifts already figured out and I am definitely not spending very much money at all. I also gave my mom a list of stuff that I wanted. It was all practical crap. Yes, I said practical.

Pinterest?

OK OK here's my breaking point... I'm keeping it to a minimum of 1-10 hours a week :)

.....leave me alone I'm addicted.

Organization?

I'm also on an organization kick. Trying to tell myself to let go of certain clothes is really difficult. Facing the fact I wont be a 4 again is not fun at all. We all do it, "I'll loose weight someday and be able to wear that again no problem"... I'm a curvy 8 now. Just gotta deal with it. Need to bite the bullet and just get rid of some crap to make room in my closet.

OH and check these out!

It's just PVC pipe placed on top of each other super glued together. Great for shoes, and purses and all kinds of stuff. I want one or maybe four of these. So awesome!

Recognize this? It's a card cataloger from a library! How awesome would something like this be for arts and crafts stuff? I definitely found one that someone in my family has and I have definitely started begging for it. Such a cool cool piece!

ALL YOU LAZY BUMS LIKE ME OUT THERE...

GET UP AND DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE!!!

Trevor

OK so I studied, passed the test, and I'm now moving on to my topic at hand...

The man-friend-boy-person... my long distance relationship...

Trevor

So if you have followed my blog for the past year and a half, you will know I have talked about my boyfriends on here before... About how great they are, about the break up, about our relationship, basically the whole story... But I guarantee you no one has heard a story like this one.

On November 9th 2009 I became friends with a guy on facebook I had never met named Trevor. I had heard the world about him from his two best friends that I was very close with at NOC. They were all friends growing up and since I was around them all the time in the dorms, I heard about Trevor pretty frequently. I still am trying to figure out why I friended him, but I did for some reason. It will make sense why in the end.

At the time I was going to Missouri Southern, 20 year old, super dooper single and having the time of my life at my new school. Trevor on the other hand was under much different circumstances. He is a soldier in the U.S Army, when we met online he was deployed in Baghdad, Iraq.

I don't know what clicked inside my head when I started talking to him but we both became very close, very fast. He was funny, definitely attractive and kept my attention for hours on end. A huge sense of concern grew out of our conversations, and I made an effort every day to talk to him and make sure he was safe. There were nights I would stay up until 3 or 4 in the morning to just see if he would come chat with me. When he wouldn't show up I would worry like crazy and message him to contact me so I knew he was OK. I started caring on a deeper level. My friends all knew about Trevor, he was a household name at my apartment. When he would sign on I would get so excited and giddy and it was like he was my online boyfriend.

OK so there's that term, online boyfriend... yes that makes me sound completely crazy, but I wasn't I promise! It wasn't like some weird eHarmony thing where you meet guys you wanna date/marry/hook-up with and all that crap... it was real. I knew he was a real person because I knew his friends, and also the fact new pictures were popping up every couple of weeks from his time in Iraq. Trevor was the real deal. He wasn't an old man in Milwaukee with no teeth being a predator.

Well as time went on, because time always goes on, Trevor was still gone and I was still a single party girl in college. During the time when Trevor and I were talking so much I had talked to a couple of guys but I never really bit the hook on a relationship. Something always kinda held me back , part of me now thinks it was Trevor. I did however eventually meet someone and I did get into a relationship. Trevor and I still talked off and on, but his work schedule changed so we weren't able to talk as much as we both would've wanted. With the arrival of spring Ibecame very busy with my new boyfriends baseball schedule, and prom season at my office... we both just kind of lost touch.

That boyfriend was Jean-Francois, the french guy. JF was one of those really great boyfriends at first... your worst nightmare by the end type things. He drained me of my ability to care and we all know where that went. One thing I do appreciate about our relationship though was my ability to maintain a long distance relationship. As awful as JF and I were to each other at certain points, I learned alot about relationships from that one.

The next boyfriend taught me everything I don't want in a relationship, all the way down to knowing the exact words and phrases that push me all the way over the edge. I have had times in my life where I have been raging mad about different things and from as far back as I can remember there are only 2 people who can push me over the edge... My father and Jeremy Armbrister. I had never thrown anything at another person in my life, until he came along. Most abusive relationship I have ever been in.

So here I am... July 9, 2011 (Two days after Jeremy and I broke up for good) sitting at home checking my facebook and a message pops up in my facebook inbox... and it's Trevor. We had chatted off and on for a year and a half, but this was the first time in a few months... and there he was... in all his glory... with "hi loser" sitting in my inbox. The second I saw the message I text him on my phone and we started talking about everything going on in our lives. We text all that day and all night and he even called me and we had the greatest drunk conversation ever.

Something clicked that day... we both were so happy to be talking and to be back in each others lives. The talking and the txting continued on and it got to the point of, OK are we going to do this or not? So I used some flight credits and flew to Seattle to meet him a month and 2 days after we started talking again. It was the most exciting, scary, wonderful day of my life.

1. 
   
   I am not a person who packs in advance... I was packed 3 days early.


2. 
   
   I rarely get nervous, I get adrenaline rushes and go... I was so nervous I couldn't breathe.


3. 
   
   I don't usually care what I look like... I couldn't sleep on the plane, it would mess up my perfectly curled hair.

When I got there... I was having such a had time breathing that when I called Trevor to find him he was actually concerned about if I was OK and just told me to breathe it would all be perfect. He was right. After he finally found me, I ran up to him and just threw my arms around him and stayed there for a long time. I was shaking, I was so scared, but he didn't care he just hugged me tighter. He was perfect. I'll never forget the way he looked standing there, what he was wearing, all of it.

.BEST.FEELING.EVER.

The rest is really history... we went to one of his friends houses for a cookout, we went to the beach, a Mariners game, visited Pikes Market Place, went all over downtown Seattle... had a blast. It was so much fun, but we could have sat and watched movies all weekend and I wouldn't have cared... just wanted to be right there with him, my boyfriend. The one I never thought would really become reality, but here it is real as ever.

I guess it just goes to say... dreams really can come true.

My dreams came true this time. I have been blessed with the best gift God or anyone could have given me.

trip reasoning...

So I said I would give he reason for my Seattle trip at a later date... so here it is.

I have once again found myself in a long distance relationship.

Yes, I know I have complained about these dreadful things before, but I feel like this time it might actually be different. I also know I have said that before... this one is different, this decision is different, this Dr. Pepper I don't need is different... However... this one is very very different.

So to make things extra dramatic... I will post about it in a few days. I definitely just realized I have a test in the morning for my class... ooops.

Standby this story is worth hearing............ I promise.

don't be a fool, get some school

So my classes have begun. All I have to say is...

Why oh Why oh Why do do my classes have to be so time consuming?

College seems like such a waste of time. I feel like I have learned the same things year after year. Each year the assignments just get longer in page length, and more busy work seems to appear. Shouldn't I be doing some actual hands on training instead of reading these stupid text books that only teach you every term in the world to glorify the word "communication"? Professors tell you to get an internship... but how are you supposed to do that, and complete your assignments, and go to class, and maybe have a job, and potentially get to take a shower?

I will complain on my blog and not in real life for the time being because I just don't have the energy or the time to write emails that will never be read to the administration about my ridiculous classes.

ON A BETTER NOTE...

I've now been to Seattle/Tacoma, Washington. It's a very peculiar place... but I was in the best of company and I enjoyed it very much. It is definitely not a city for someone who loves living on the prairie. There are a ton of trees and they block your view alot of times. Definitely a good place to visit though. I will give the reason for my trip at a later date. It's going to be very read-worthy. :)

Here is my survival list for this semester:

1.)

pink notebook... enough said... keeps me and my shit sane.

2.)

headbands... to keep my weave in check when I can't fix it... no time for that!

3.)

Adele tunes... haven't heard her?... YOUTUBE NOW!

As the semester progresses I will keep you updated on necessary needs!

My hopes are wayyy wayyy up...

I have alot coming up... I'm just ready for it all to begin. If there is a hitch in any of my plans, I might get severely upset.

School: I have one year left of college. ONE. It is going to be the hardest most ridiculous thing I have ever tried to do. I can't believe I am actually putting myself on an academic suicide mission, but I guess it's to the point to where I need to get busy. One year of busting my ass and killing myself to get it done... but when its over... I'll be done and really proud of myself.

I'm hoping after college the things that are supposed to happen fall into place rather than just happen and cause problems and abrupt horrible changes. My whole college career has been all over the place. Parts of it I would definitely change. I'll be 23... 23?... 23 sounds freaking old. I don't like that number. It's only cool for Michael Jordan.

Maybe this will be the year where I get tired of just getting by and I bust my ass... maybe not... all I know is I'm getting out of college if it is the last thing I do. It's time for phase 2 to begin. The part of my life where I start making that monneeeyyyyy!

Things I'm happy about...

1.) I'm not preggers, married, or fat...

2.) I found a pair of wedges today... I have never had a pair because I'm so picky with them... They were purchased and are being enjoyed currently.

3.) I'm completely sprung...

4.) The heat is almost over.

felicidade.幸福.lycka.שמחה.happiness

Finding something that makes you happy... what ever it is... is so wonderful.

(unless it's meth or something bad like that....then you suck)

It leaves you wondering if there is ONE thing that truly makes all of us happy.

Out of all the people in the world, we all have continued to prosper on this earth, and we have all procreated and kept the world going somehow. There must be something that is keeping us here and keeping us content that we all have in common. We as a people, as much as we may not want to believe, do have the power to put an end to our race. Stopping teens from popping out kids, and setting off virus bombs would do the trick if we really wanted everyone to die.... so what is it exactly that really makes all of us happy?

For example...

I could say something like cute puppies make everyone happy because they are cute and cuddly. But that isn't entirely true for all people. How someone could not love a puppy is way beyond my knowledge, but some people are allergic, some are afraid, some hate dogs, some prefer cats, some think dogs are ugly. Puppies are not a win win... unfortuantely.

Then there is something like chocolate. People all over the world love chocolate. It can be made into a zillion different types of delectable treats to make the stomache happy. The annual world consumption of cocoa beans averages around 600,000 tons per year. Consumers worldwide spend more than $20 billion a year on chocolate. But not everyone likes chocolate, even I don't like chocolate. I think it is kinda gross actually.

What about marriage? It's for some not for all, however most feel like they have to get married because it will make them "happy" and give them true "happiness". I would like to go with a quote from my dear best friend Amber Buker, "It is extraneous for the state to insert itself into my romantic relationship as a third party to an erroneous contract." Her thoughts are just a pin prick from the leagues of people who are starting to turn to this lifestyle of no marriage. Considering the 50% divorce rate in most states including my own, it might be a good idea. I personally believe most people get more excited about the wedding day than they do about being attached to another person for the rest of their life. Hell I do too... I love weddings, and their open bars.




Maybe there isn't one thing that makes absolutely everyone happy. Maybe the one thing that makes everyone happy is the fact that we all have the potential to be happy and we revel in the happiness we do find.

Never mind, I figured it out... I know what makes everyone happy...

nappy time.

Profound Affects

I met a girl, we were friends for awhile until she became a complete imbecile. She led me to meet two other girls who I became friends with and have great memories with from the Winter of 2010. These girls lead me to a bar where they met a guy that put me in the position to meet a guy and a group of people that changed me forever. Now to this day... I am friends nor acquaintances with not one of them.

Cynical I know, but also truly incredible... How you could learn so much, from give or take 13 people whom you no longer associate with.

This happens every day. It happens all of the time. It's normal actually.

Every tiny thing we do affects the next thing that happens to us or the people and things around us. My current slouching isn't helping my back for the future. Typing this right now is going to affect myself or someone in the future. It could be causing more sleep deprivation that could affect tomorrow in everything I do (future) which could lead to an endless number of things happening which changes everything in the wide world around me.

Recently everything I have done to affect what happens next in my life, has been the best steps I could make. Whether it be Zeus, Jesus above, or something else I don't know of... I have been making "it" very content.

I had an amazing chat on the Fourth of July with my Aunt Netta. She really stressed to me the importance of taking risks and chances in life... making sure I was always following wherever the wild wind blew my unchained heart. I appreciate that conversation with her more than she will probably ever know. I dont ever wanna look back and say... "If I could do that over again, I woulda..." I've been living like I was dying, and divulging in the treasures that make my soul smile.

It made me think of what would be best for me, what would make me truly happy.

True happiness is in the accidents.... it's in the moment... it's laughing your butt off with your pod mate at work over typos her boyfriend sends in his text messages. It's always loving and treating someone you don't know with the highest respect to see them smile, and know you might have helped there day a teensy weensy bit. It's knowing out of a zillion people in someones life they choose you to be one of 4 people standing next to them at their wedding... the supposed most important day of their life... even if they have 12 more important days in their lifetime... :)

I dont ever want to feel any worse than I aleady have a certain times in my short life... but if it is what I have to do to learn the lessons to move me on to other amazing things that will come after that... then so be it... break my heart... beat me down... call me names... but dont think I will stay down forever.

It's impossible.

heres some picture clues to the next few months for me.... If I don't affect anything.

Through my Looking Glass...

I'm currently in and out of a depressive state right now. I hate feeling like I'm not good enough. From now on... If someone makes me feel inferior, I'm going to turn into my fathers daughter and jack some jaws. I'm done with the crap.

My parents can be more childish than I am. I thought we were all supposed to be adults around here? Don't tell me to act like an adult if you're worse than me.

I just read through some of my blog posts... typos... I'm not changing them... I am however going to pay more attention in the future.

I stood up from a chair at a concert today... and my underwear must be some kind of cling fabric, because my dress was stuck to my underwear and they were DEFINITELY showing. Glad I dont get embarassed. Someone laughed, I told 'em it was my swim suit from swimming earlier. It wasn't as cool then.

I'm becoming a man hater for sure. I used to make fun of my friends for being so picky... I currently understand. People lie, people hurt you, and people dont care. Just gotta know when it's suposed to hurt you for a reason, and be thankful for all of life's lessons.

Time for a new tattoo.

Yes, I want another one.

I'm still afraid of babies. If it can not communicate to me what it wants through the English language... get it away from me. I don't have time for crying, it hurts my ears and makes me too want to cry. ALSO... you have to feed them before you can eat... NO WAY JOSE!

live the life you love,

love the life you lead,

lose the life you had,

learn from that life,

and laugh...

laugh as hard as you can,

because life isn't worth living

...without laughter

-me

Show your pride

In light of the upcoming holiday...

I have decided to do a post on why I am happy I am an Oklahoman and an American.

Oklahoma

When I was in Las Vegas this past spring Break, one of the first questions you asked when you met someone new was "where are you from?". The person would say what state, and then ask me and I would say Oklahoma, and it would start a whirlwind of conversation. They would comment on my accent and ask if I was a Sooner fan, and ask about tornadoes... they knew more about MY state than most of us would ever guess anyone knew about our state. You hear the old "Do you still live in teepee's" question, and accents are normal, but if someone said to me I'm from Iowa, New Mexico, Utah, Idaho, California... I really don't give a crap. Your state has to at least be as cool as mine to get noticed. You get every season here, you have lakes, desert area, plains, forests, mountains... everything. The people here are real. You work hard, play harder. Their is big city lights, and small town nights. I have everything I want right here in this state, and though I may leave and go on my adventures other places, I will always come back to my lovely Oklahoma.

I remember, when I went to school in Tonkawa, how excited I would get when I passed over Keystone Lake and started entering into Tulsa. It's a roll the windows down, and turn up the radio kind of moment when you start seeing the big buildings in downtown after you've been on the prairie for a few weeks. I could stop at QuikTrip and get my favorite kind of licorice, and grab a sweet tea, and head through the city. Tulsa is my home and I love it.

America

Plain and simple... You can get anything you have ever wanted, do anything you can imagine, Enjoy every kind of climate, every kind of landscape, and every type of anything in the world.

America has it all.

We aren't the land of the free, home of the brave for nothing.

Happy Birthday America.

I couldn't be any more happy that I am an American citizen... now maybe we can hurry up and get Obama out of there and fix our deficit.

teeter totter heart

Why do we love what we know could hurt us?

Because in life there is a chance that anything could hurt us.

I've come to notice recently, that maybe there is beauty in the things we see as messed up. I've started seeing Jeremy again... because I missed him more than words. Other guys had tried to talk to me, they had asked me out, I was being hit on in bars... but no one was him. You learn something about the type of person you need to be with by the way you flirt and play with them. If there is no automatic spark, I have learned... there never will be.

I was out one night with my girlfriends at Bakers Street Pub, and we were sitting there and a guy at another table turned around and started flirting with us, and then singled me out, and he didn't get very far at all because he couldn't joke with me. I was too forceful, too demanding in my presence, and too abrasive for him. He immediately said "ohh she's a feisty one", I proceeded with "fear the red heads, we bite". He didn't like that... turned around, and I laughed at him for being a chicken.

This is how I know I missed Jeremy.

The first time we met, I went and sat next to him and introduced myself, and he said "good for you". He didn't introduce himself... he wasn't trying to impress me, he was being his butt head normal self, and I HAD TO ASK HIM HIS NAME. I don't know what kind of messed up weirdo I am, but that is an immediate turn on to me when a guy ignores me. It's like him saying... " I want you to talk to me but I'm going to start this conversation off really difficult so it can only go up from here, and also, so you know that I'm not going to let you run all over me you crazy girl" There are so many guys that let me just ran all over them, and they just let me and follow me like a puppy, and I don't want... nor need that.

stay tuned... thus far all is well :)

Here are my favorite Quotes of the day

hahhahahhaha

I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it.
Marilyn Monroe

I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me.
Bette Midler

Inspiration

Inspiration comes from everywhere for me.

I become inspired from the tiniest of things. It astounds me how people walk around everyday and live their lives like the world is a boring place and that nothing good ever happens.

Here are some things that have inspired me this week...

1. Women who are not afraid to be funny and stronger than men.

2. The Center of the Universe in Downtown Tulsa.

3. Angry Birds... don't ask me why.

4. Seeing my old friends more than normal.

5. Sleeping.

6. Adventure seeking.

Inspiration actually started my newest cauldron of craziness...

I've started writing a book.

I know it sounds silly, but I have had some crazy things happen to me in my life. It's basically going to be a collection of funny and crazy stories from my years I have had thus far in college. I will want to remember my first tattoo experience with Amber, and driving hours through the night with Brenna to go to a stupid party with hot guys. I love my life, and I love the experiences I have been through. Even if it never leaves my computer I'm enjoying the writing experience, remembering the good times, and I want to finish it.

I'm aware of the mystery around us, so I write about coincidences, premonitions, emotions, dreams, the power of nature, magic.
Isabel Allende
Author

I can promise you that women working together - linked, informed and educated - can bring peace and prosperity to this forsaken planet.

Isabel Allende

Author

I thought I had it right...

UPDATE BLOG...

I have got to stop denying my blog! I love it... I just don't think about it out and about in my every day life! OK... I'm making a pact to blog more... No I'm not fibbing this time!

Everything is now (once again) completely different than it was the day that I posted last.

*Same company, different job.... It took a turn and now I'm doing something completely different. Still enjoy it though. :)

*JF and I have began to speak again, and we are actually becoming great friends. I pray his baseball career will take off any day, and he will live out his life long dream.

*School at RSU is back to being awful. I passed. That's all that mattered to me was passing. I don't care how well I did I passed... I hate RSU with a passion and want out of there as soon as humanly possible.

*Jeremy is gone with the wind... he's an amazing person, but right now we can not be together. He taught me so many things about life and love and what one person can and cannot handle. It ended badly. Not all things are beautiful and perky. I learned a huge life lesson. I am getting over him and moving on and I hope he is doing the same, and that he doesn't stare at his phone like I do wishing we could just make it all better.

*Summer is here.

*I'm getting a tan.

*I'm seeing as many friends as possible.
*I'm seeing my friends as often as possible.

*I'm living this summer up.

That's my update, blog.

My poor poor blog has been forgotten for months once again. SHAME ON ME I don't know why I don't post more often. I have the time, I love it, and yeah I am going to try an fix this.

My last post was really depressing for me to read. Alot has changed since the new year has started.

1.) My apartment is finished. I love my little home. I absolutely love spending my time around there doing my Heather things such as dancing and singing to the radio at the top of my lungs, reading one of my zillion books, or just relaxing because I don't have Internet or cable television. It's surprisingly really awesome to not have the normal things other people think they can't live without.

2.) Jean-Francois and myself have gone our separate ways. It was really hard at the time, but necessary. The time came that he couldn't do anything for me, I couldn't do anymore for him, and I was unwilling to continue feeling like I was wasting my life with someone 5 states away with a birth certificate from a foreign and French country. It's amazing how in the middle of things you get without realizing, and then when you try to get out how stuck you feel. We don't hate each other, but whatever was is no longer, and it is completely over. The things two people can say to each other after so many months of caring is just astounding. We broke it and it is unrepairable.

3.) My job is wonderful. I love it, and we are growing! I should be working full time over the summer, and I'll continue to grow with this company as long as I can.

4.) School this semester is so much better than last semester. I finally made some friends, and I don't hate RSU as much as I did. I'm starting to see the light at the end, and I have some serious goals to work towards right now. My 8 week Comm Theory class is eating my breakfast, lunch, and dinner, but... I'll make it through.

5.) I met a new guy. It was too soon, all wrong, and completely ridiculous how it happened... but I wouldn't let go of this man for anything. It makes you realize how silly you were in the past when you meet someone new that tops the others of the past. I have always kinda been the caretaker in a relationship, thinking that was ok and what I was supposed to do. I was wrong.

Jeremy Armbrister has completely turned my opinion around, and made me realize how completely inadequate any other man I have ever met was. He tests me, he takes care of me, and he respects me for being strong and able to take care of myself. He thinks I'm gorgeous, he is constantly astonished by the things I do, and he loves me the way I am.

We are from two different worlds which is fine with me. He can do country, he can do city, he can do anything. He's a great balance for me. He's 26, blond hair, blue/green/gray eyes, linebacker body style, and has cowboy boots :) (I'm throwing this info in, in case my grandma reads it) OH AND TO BE EVEN WORSE... I had a no dating of football players clause in my Heather Constitution... he was an All-State linebacker, and played for a couple of years in college. I feel like this again... HIGH SCHOOL!

Well... I think that's about it... life is tons better than it was.

Hopefully the summer and the rest of this year will turn into a glorious thing. I haven't had a fun summer since I entered college. It's about timeeeeeee.